


To Know Him

by polkadotPotter



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aftermath, Angery, Angst, Comfort, Concerned Lance, First Kiss, Getting Together, Keith trying to fucking die during that one battle, M/M, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Suicide Attempt, The Blade of Marmora - Freeform, i almost cried writing this lmaooo kill me, idk what other tags i should do, keith cries, season 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-26 23:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15011819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polkadotPotter/pseuds/polkadotPotter
Summary: Lance learns about Keith's attempted self-sacrifice, and Lance ispissed.





	To Know Him

Lance pounded on Keith's door, mind reeling. "Keith!" Lance said. "Keith, let me in!" It was silent in the room beyond the door, and Lance was suddenly afraid that Keith wasn't there. He might not be- or maybe he was there, but his mind wasn't. Lance gulped, taking in a harsh breath. "So help me Keith, if you don't open this door-" he huffed. Lance flipped open the pad on the wall, typing in the override code he'd stolen from Pidge a while back. The door hissed as it swung open, and Lance saw Keith look up with wide, cornered eyes as he stepped into the room angrily.

Keith sucked in a breath, his eyes darting away from Lance. The Cuban froze in his anger, noticing how small the other boy looked- yeah, Keith was normally shorter than him, but now he looked... infinitely more small. He was curled in on himself, shoulders hunched, knees tucked in near his chest, hands clenched into shaking fists. His face was- his face was _red_ , like he'd been crying. Lance didn't think he could even imagine Keith crying. Keith closed his eyes tiredly, leaning away from Lance. "Lance-" he tried, his voice raw.

It was obvious that Keith was about to make some sort of stupid excuse, and something broke in Lance's chest. "What were you thinking?" he snapped. Keith flinched, looking even further away from Lance, the tops of his thighs marrying his hidden chest. "Keith, you could have died! How could- how could you think that was okay?"

Keith opened his mouth, then closed it, looking a bit like a fish. His chin fell to his crossed arms. "I-" his voice was so soft, so quiet. "It was the only way."

"Evidently not," Lance said, throwing his arms out to gesture toward the room where Prince _fucking_ Lotor was being held. "He showed up and worked his Galra magic on that ship, and- and what if it was for nothing, Keith? What if you went through with it and it didn't _work_? Huh, what would we have done then?"

Keith didn't answer. Just burrowed further down into the cage that was his chest. 

Lance began to pace, frustrated. "God, you act like it's not even important!" Lance groaned. "All this 'mission first' bullshit is just... well, it's bullshit! Just because you only care about the mission, doesn't mean that's how everyone else's minds work. Like, people care about you Keith, and you can't just go-" Lance swallowed, "go _kill_ yourself over a big bad Galra ship."

Keith's head snapped up at that, and he glared at Lance with about as much fire as he could muster just then- which wasn't much. "You don't know anything about me. About- about it. The Blade."

"Don't I?" Lance scoffed, narrowing his eyes at Keith. "You joined to find your mom. You haven't yet. They treat you like a child there, because you're young and you're not full Galra. You're too kind for them. Too sentimental. I also know that you're lactose intolerant, but that's beside the point because Shiro told me that and that doesn't even have to do with The Blade. But don't act like I haven't been living in a magic space castle with you for the past _however_ long."

There was a sharp silence in which neither of them talked. Keith bit his lip, breathing softly. He looked beautifully reckless. "Did-" he cut himself off briefly. He took a moment to suck in some air. "Did you know I was kicked out of the Garrison for punching Iverson in the face?" he asked, and Lance blanched.

"What?" he blinked, disbelieving. Keith did _what_? "Keith, that's-"

"Did you know that my dad died when I was seven? That I spent years in the foster system, that Shiro- that Shiro was the son of the couple who finally adopted me?" Lance stayed silent, knowing where this was going. "Did you know that I hate grape flavored candy, but I love grapes? Or that Zuko is my favorite character from Avatar? That I broke three ribs when I was ten? That I joined the Galaxy Garrison because if I couldn't find my own fucking mother at least I could find _something_ even if it was just another useless star?" Keith paused, chest heaving, eyes ablaze, and he almost seemed like he was done before he added, belatedly, in a harsh whisper, "Did you know I'm gay?"

Lance blinked. He- what? He didn't know what to say. This seemed to be what Keith was going for.

"Lance, you don't know anything about me," he said quietly. "So don't pretend to know my motives."

Lance scoffed, throwing his hands up. "Then tell me, Keith," he spat. He was tired of this, tired of fighting over Keith almost dying. "Tell me, what the fuck were your motives? Because I'd _love_ to know!" 

"I don't have to tell you," Keith snapped, gritting his teeth stubbornly. "I'm not on your team anymore." 

There was a shocked silence where all Lance could do was stare at Keith, stare at his burning eyes and he defensive position and his ruffled and defeated appearance. Let the words sink in.

And then he exploded.

"What the fuck. What the fuck?" he growled. "You're not a part of this _team_ anymore? The fuck you _aren't_! You've been on this team since the minute we both stepped in to save Shiro back on Earth. You found the Blue Lion, you piloted the Red Lion, dealt with Shiro going missing, Piloted the _Black_ Lion, discovered you were half Galra, you- you did so much, with us, you can't just throw that all away! You act like you're the only one who has any say on whether or not you're a part of this team- well guess what, Keith! You're wrong. You aren't off the team until we say so, so that'll be, uh, never. Because newsflash! We care about you! All of us! Team Voltron needs you! Okay, they all- we all love you, you're like- you fucking- I-" Lance didn't know what to say. He knew what he was going to say, but now didn't seem like the time.

Keith stared at Lance, looking apprehensive, ready to bolt. His hands had migrated to rest on the bed, knuckles white as he held the sheets in a death grip. "You what, Lance?" His voice was impossibly quiet. It was raw and dead and ready to give up, and it broke Lance's fucking heart. That was when he made the decision to say it.

Lance took a deep breath, looking Keith right in the eyes. " _I_ love you. Keith. I need you. And you can't- you can't just go off and sacrifice yourself. If you died, I'd- I'd fucking die too."

The room was dead silent, as Lance held the Galran's gaze. Lance wasn't even sure that Keith was breathing, he was so still. All he could see was the pain in the other's eyes, the contemplation, the- the _tears_.

As soon as Lance registered the tears in the other's eyes, Keith broke down.

Lance rushed to the bed, eyes wide as he watched Keith's body shake with sobs. His face was buried in his arms, and he was leaning toward the wall like he was trying to hide from Lance. "Keith, Keith," Lance panicked. "Keith, shit. Fuck, I'm-" he placed a shaky hand on Keith's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I-" Lance cut himself off with a yelp as Keith launched himself at him. For a split second, Lance thought that Keith might be about to hit him- but he realized that it wasn't the case when he registered the arms tight around his middle, the wet face pressed into the crook of his neck, the knees pressed into the side of his thigh. At first he blanched, but then, slowly, he brought his arms up, resting them on Keith's back, placing his chin atop the shorter boy's head. "Hey, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here." A sob racked Keith's body and he clutched Lance tightly. Lance tightened his grip on Keith, holding him against him like if he let go the other would do something reckless again. 

Keith cried for a while, and Lance held him longer than the sobs lasted. He held him past the suppressing whimpers, through the hiccups, through the final sniffles, through the shaky breathing that eventually began to even out as time ticked on. He held him through the ensuing silence, through the slackening grip, through the decreasing trembling. Then he just held him. 

It was quiet for so long, Lance almost forgot that either of them could speak. And then, "Nobody ever said that to me before," Keith admitted, in the smallest voice. Lance looked down, his nose pressing into the other's long hair. 

"Hm?"

"What you said," Keith went on, breath hitching slightly. "About- how you..." he trailed off, and Lance could see the edges of a blush poking at the tips of his ears. "You know."

"That can't be true," Lance said, heart breaking for the other boy. "Other people must have loved you."

Keith shook his head into Lance's neck. "Not- not like you. Not with all that, all that extra stuff."

Lance blinked. Oh. _Oh_. "Oh."

"Yeah," Keith sighed. He looked down. Lance squeezed him tight. He didn't deny the implications of what he'd said earlier. He didn't want to, and he didn't think Keith wanted him to either. Cautiously, he pressed his lips against the other's hair, a light, feathery kiss meant to comfort. Keith leaned into it.

"I don't know you," Lance admitted, slowly. "I'd like to, though."

Keith was still, just for a moment, but then he nodded. Lance's heart seized up in his chest. He held Keith a little longer.

The Galran finally pulled back, after an hour, peeling himself away from the red paladin. He searched Lance's face, and Lance did the same to him, noticing how close the other boy was. He took a deep breath. "Can I-"

Keith pressed his lips against Lance's. It was soft, just still mouths, the firm press of lips against lips. Lance's right hand drifted up to press against Keith's jaw, holding it with a careful tenderness that he was surprised he possessed. He felt a palm against his upper chest and smiled briefly against the other's mouth. The two of them rested there for a moment, reveling in the feel of the other, in the comfort it brought each of them. Like they could sit against each other forever. But Lance pulled back first, grasping tight to the warm buzz in his chest. He smiled at Keith, feathery soft.

"I know one thing now," he said, and Keith blinked at him.

"What?" he asked, his voice still a bit raw from crying.

"You're a secret romantic, Keith." 

Lance grinned as Keith blushed a deep red. "I-"

"Oh, and one more thing," Lance said. He leaned in again, pressing a chaste kiss to Keith's lips. "You've got the best fucking lips in the galaxy."


End file.
